Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Mother - what does the word mean?

Just spent some time with my friend and her daughter and it made me think what makes a mother? My friend is a great mother. Is funny, that before we became friends, I saw the two of the bus one day, and remember thinking that, I wish I had a chance to be a mother like her one day. Funny, that a few years later we are friends and I'm sort of a step auntie to her daughter.

Yes, I am your biological mother, but does that make me your mother - only you could ever answer that question. For me, the word mother brings to my mind certain images - it is possible that my image of a mother is old fashioned, but my image of a mother, was a factor in decision to place you for adoption .

When I saw my friend with her daughter, I realised that what I wanted growing up and I wanted to be for you, was to be a mother like my friend is. A bit of the 1950 stereotype of a mother mixed in with a modern woman - so not chained to the kitchen sink but still having some of the old fashioned values.

I have been lucky in that I have had a few mothers, there was my real mother - in my eyes she was never my mum (sorry) but it was always something missing there, still haven't been able to put my finger on that one.

Then there was Mana - my Greek mum - I only knew her for about two years but she showed me what I always thought a mum should be - she held my hand when I was ill, she cried with me when my crush didn't accept me, she never said "I told you so" when I can home after your father hit me (and became my ex) - that day she only sat there and comforted me. And when I found out that expected you, she kept making sure that all my decision were mine. She would make sure I had question every decision a million times and making it was something I wanted. She even sort of helped with picking your mum and dad. So if any thing, Mana was my real mum even if she was not my biological mother.

Finally there is Uma, she has a special place in my heart because she is Ray's mum also - but she also was more motherly to me that I can remember my real mother being. Uma has taken the time to get to know me and tried at the same time to guide me. She has not patronised me in anyway and she again has accepted me with faults and all (including you - she is you γιαγιά in my eyes).

So it made me think, yes I would love to be your mother, but for me no matter how much it hurts and I love you, it has to be your decision. Also I did realised a long time ago, that giving birth to you does not give me the right to be called your mother. To be a true mum, I would need instil you with good values, picked you up when you needed it and most of all respect your decisions - good or bad. So, I do know that you might not ever want to get to know me - no matter how much I would like it to happen.

But at the same time you have you μαμά - she has been there since the day you were born, nurturing you and hopefully been everything I wanted to be for you - in the way Mana and Uma has been there for me. It is not my intention to ever try to take her place - hopefully one day you will realise that you have two mothers that truly love you and will always have your best interest at heart.

Έτσι, για τώρα, για άλλη μια φορά, σ 'αγαπώ τόσο πολύ τον γιο, αγαπώντας τη μαμά σου

FeedBurner FeedCount

Total Pageviews