Sunday, 31 October 2010

A Tragedy

Earlier this week, a young man I know committed suicide and when his father came to give me details of the funeral, this poem was included and I hope his parents don't mind I share it with you. It is so fitting for their son.

As I look up to the skies above

As I look up to the skies above,
The stars stretch endlessly--
But somehow all those rays of light
Seem dimmer now to me.
As I watch the morning sun appear,
The shadows still don't fade—
As if the brightest light of all
Was somehow swept away.

Though I see the branches swaying,
And watch their dancing leaves--
The echoes carried on the wind
Don't sound the same to me.
As I listen to the morning birds
Sing softly from afar--
It seems to be a mournful tune
That echoes in my heart.

Another day has come again,
As time moves surely on--
But nothing now seems quite the same,
To know that he is gone.
The days and weeks and months ahead
Will never be the same--
Because a treasure beyond words
Can never be replaced.

The loss cannot be measured now,
The void cannot be filled--
And though someday the grief may fade,
His mark will live on still.
For even with my heavy heart,
I know that I've been blessed
To have been one who's life he touched
With warmth so infinite.

The tragedy of this senseless death was that he didn't leave a note for his parents nor were there any indication that he was feeling so low. I just wish it was more I could do for the family... a hug and a bad an offer of a shoulder to cry on is the most I can do for them.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Traits and quirks

On one of the forums I'm following the issue of traits and quirks was raised... mostly by adopted people but it got me wondering?

I know that a lot of my traits and quirks are identical to an adopted child.... I have major issues about being rejected, I feel the need to please other people and there are a loads more... if I hadn't know any better I would have thought I might have been adopted myself - I know of course that is not an issue - it is funny that I have the same issues as an adopted child. So, I started thinking - a very dangerous prospect I know, lol. But do all us affected by adoption have similar character traits? Actually, do you have some of these traits?

I know from the videos I found of you and from comments from some of my friends, that we do have some things in common... a tilt of the head, the way we smile (apparently). There is two major things for me... on the videos you keep doing a particular thing which I always do and our handwriting is identical, but do we have more in common. Yes, we like the same music, movies and books - the big question is do you have any of my personality - or are you anything like you father.

I'm still trying to remember why I liked your dad in the first place and it always come back to the same... I was never in love with him... he was cute and fairly nice, initially - nothing more - sorry, then again I was only 20 years old and what did I know about life then.

So when I imagining the prospect of meeting you I can only ever see myself in you, I never considered that you might have the traits of your biological father - your adopted father was always the only father I can imagine influencing you.

It is only over the past year I have considered your biological father and if you do have any of his personality? Don't get me wrong if you had all his personality, it would not make me love you less and I might not ever given him a chance to prove himself. Just know that you will always be loved whatever quirks and traits you might have, we all love you

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