Monday, 27 July 2009

My "rock" is back in my life!!!!

Had a phone call this morning from my rock, Middle Brother, damn I have missed him - but when we spoke it was like we had never been apart.

He also said he would try to get to the family reunion we are having in a couple of weeks. It would have been great if you could been there, but in one way it is good that we are not in contact yet. I definitely think that Ray is out there somewhere, pulling some strings for me. He must be looking down at us all and feeling pleased with himself.

I still cannot believe that the last time I saw or spoke to Middle Brother was the time he introduced me to his future wife - she did seem to be a lovely girl but now at least I will get to know her and my niece.

Actually, just finished chatting with Middle Brother - second time today, but this time I got to see him also, which is great - also got to say hi to your little Cousin, (need for find better names for the Cousins - I getting confused myself).

He is is touch with Weird Brother (if you read this sorry mate - I have my reasons for calling you that), but did ask him to get Weird Brother to call me. I cannot believe I have the whole Family back now - it must be a reason for that!!!

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Counting down the days!!!

Meet up with Big Sister today, during her stop-over on route to up North.

As I said to Cousin 1 yesterday, I was worried I would not recognise Big Sister - it is 14 years since I last saw her, but as soon as she step off the plane we both recognised each other. She hasn't changed in all those years.

But to make our day perfect, Little Brother had messed up when booking her ticket, so her ongoing flight was a few hours earlier than we expected - it had already left. We had a fun hour trying to get her on another flight - thanks to Middle Brother and Brother-in-Law it was sorted. But it was seriously fun - phones being passed around and not knowing who would be on the other end. You see Cousin 1 and I speaking English, Brother-in-Law and Big Sister in Algerian at the same time Brother-in-Law was speaking to Middle Brother from their house up north, not forgetting Little Brother on the phone from Algiers.

With a bit of luck I will also get to meet up with Middle Brother in August - after Ray died he was my rock so it would be great to catch up with him.

Anyway, Big Sister said that Uma and Baba cannot wait to see me again - actually I cannot wait to see them either. I cannot believe that I get to see most The Family in August, Big Brother will still be in Algeria, and as for Weird Brother and Middle Brother hopefully I will get to see them, or at least speak to them in August - its only 4 weeks away!!!!

I told Big Sister that some of my friends are must be feed up with me gushing about The Family and how great they are and her response was "But you are a [part of] The Family" (that means that you are also part of The Family).

It made me wonder what would have happened if Ray hadn't died... would we have tried for find you, would you had any brothers and sisters ... but life shouldn't be made up of "what ifs". You see, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and these things will make you into the person you are... I like the person I have become and I would not have become ME, if these things in my life had not happened, both the good and the bad.

My trip up north coincides with Ramadan - the Muslim holy month, even if I'm not religious (I'm agnostic, I believe in God not not in religion) I thought it was a good time to go. But when Uma and Baba came to visit Ray and me all those year ago, it was during Ramadan (and Xmas) so it is fitting that I will see them during Ramadan again.

Big Sister, I have a feeling, is already planning my holiday to Algeria. I will definitely go as soon as I can, maybe one day you will get a chance to go, it is such a beautiful country. Algiers is a bit like Athens (but cleaner) and bear in mind you would have excellent tour guides.

For now, I just counting down the days until August...

PS. Just needed to post this link, I came across this song partly thanks to you. The lyric so describe how I felt when I left Norway.

Monday, 13 July 2009

Mother Dearest!!

Your Norwegian grandmother found my blog - which mean she knows about you now. No matter what, it still will eventually be your decision whether you want to get to know them. I even read her post about me with interest - its funny, I have been aware of her on-line presence for years - I have even checked out her blogs and web pages on occasions and I think this was the first time she ever mentioned me.

The whole thing with your Norwegian family, they were not perfect but they didn't do anything wrong, it was just that there are better people for me out there! If I had stayed, I'm fairly certain I would have lost my sanity.

My mother wasn't a bad sort, I just think she tried too hard to be a best friend rather than a mother. But when I left there was so many things going in my life and Mana sort of rescued me, but it made me realise that my life in Norway was over and I was better off starting a "fresh" life and leaving Norway behind forever. So, for now, I will allow my mother to follow this blog - I might change my mind at a later stage - so to my mother, don't bother trying to contact me.

You might find it strange that I have in essence cut off my Norwegian family, but I want to find you. The simple reason is I need to know that you have been given the choice of whether you want to know about me or not. I have always hoped that you might want to know me, but also know that you might not want anything to do with me, but as long as I know you have had the option to choose I would be happy.

But in the middle of doing this post, I got a call from Little Brother and I got to speak to Uma - I can't wait to see them all in August. Cousin 1 was disappointed to realised I would only be there for a week, they want me to stay longer -so you never know, I might decide to move up North, at least I might be able to afford to buy a house up there.

Big Sis is not arriving tomorrow but rather next week, but another week and I get to hug another member of The Family - I cannot wait.

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Schools out for the summer!!

Just realised today that your uni is finished for the year - you should be back in Athens from this week until September.

So, I have decided that I should give your adoptive parents the summer to tell you - hopefully they will come to their senses and tell you. If I haven't heard anything by September, I will sent a letter to your adoptive mother.

I am not sure if you adoptive father even have told her I have been in touch, I hope he has been stupid enough not to have! It would make life much easier for me - I think - crikey I am being selfish here. But if he has not told her, she might actually see where I'm coming from and tell you the truth. OK, I know this is a bit of wishful thinking on my part - for all I know you already know and don't want any contact.

But I cannot rest until you either tell me to get lost or as I hope, that you will be able to forgive me for placing you with your adoptive parents and we can have some sort of contact.

If I knew you wanted to see me, I would be on the first plane to Greece. I would give anything to able to give you a big hug - I probably wouldn't be able to let go of you!

For now. I at least have the photo's you posted on FB - in one of them there are not doubt - you are my son, aside from you nose and your colouring you as a spit of me, even down to your smile.

For now good night and know I will always love you, son.

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