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Tuesday 19 January 2016

25 year and counting

Today it is 25 years....a quarter of a century since you were born....I have known who you are for 7 years...but I have taken the back seat...it is not that I do not want to have contact...I want that more than anything.

The problem for me, is that silly Greek law which prohibits me from contacting you...OK, I can technically get away with contacting you...as we are residences of two different countries...but I'm affiliated with Roots Research Centre and as they are doing such good work for all Greek adoptees...why should my selfishness ruin all their good work, so I'm sticking to the rules and following Greek law.

The odd thing, is someone asked me the other day if I regretted ever placing you for adoption...my answer was an outstanding YES and at the same time NO.  You see I regret every minute of the time we might have had together, I regret not having you in my life and I do regret not being able to say to you everyday: "I love you, you are my be all and end all".  At the same time, I do not regret placing you because, I think you have had a great life, you have had opportunities I would never been able to give you and I do not regret any moment of the life you have had...or what I have had...if I said I could go back and change everything....I would have wished away your life as it is and mine and so many others....and that would not be fair on anyone.

Still, if you ever read this...I wish I could give you the world today, but I cannot...I can only ever promise to be here with my love and to say I'm sorry I never gave you a choice.

I will always love you αγάπη ο γιος μου


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