November is the National Adoption Awareness Month. .. it has got me thinking.... as I have said before - me and thinking is always a bad combination.
A lot of my fellow birth mother's blogs mentions they were "forced" into (using my least favorite word again) relinquish their child. I am racking my brain and trying to figure out if I ever was "forced" into placing you for adoption - and again, in my case it was definitely the opposite - my friends tried to get me to keep you. I have never been one for believing in astrology etc - although I'm apparently very good a reading Tarot Cards - the older I get the more I can see I'm a Libra - I can always see both side of an argument - getting sidetracked here. But I knew that my circumstance at the time made placing you for adoption was the right thing... for us. I cannot speak for anyone else.
However, that this does not mean that I don't feel the hurt and pain not having you in my life.... a fellow blogger put this so eloquently in their posting "We Bleed Too" , everyday without you hurts.
So, because it is National Awareness month I have done something silly - for me at least - found a site that does "physic reading". The questions I asked where:
- Does he (you) know about me? the answer was Yes, Yes, Yes
- Does he (you) want to get to know me? the answer was Definitely Yes
- Does he (you) know how I am? the answer was Absolutely Yes
- Will we have contact this year? the answer was Nope
- What about next year? the answer was Of Course Yes
So not sure if this is wishful thinking coinciding with National Adoption Awareness month, but it gives me some hope for the future. Anyways, enough ramblings for tonight.
