Friday, 23 July 2010

Adoption - a dirty word

I wasn't going write for a little while but I have recently been following a tread on one of the adoption forums and also realising one of my flatmates situations.

To make it easy... my flatmate is an adopted child and have major issues with his birth family and the forum tread deals with a person who being "rejected" by their birth mother.

For me, both cases reeks of that whole adoption being a dirty word... and it is not... I'm member of an webring call a Gift of Love... that is what adoption is a true Gift of Love nothing more nothing less.

Us, the birth parents in most case places you (the child) into adoption because we believe that is the best for you.. because we truly love you. We place you for adoption because we believe others can give you more than we can. Whether that is financial, having two parents etc. Your real "adoptive" parents "choose" you because they truly wants a child to shower with their love.

I cannot speak for other B.M.'s out there but for me it was not an easy decision to make... and after the fact it is very hard to talk about adoption. To top it all, sometimes a sometimes a lie about the B.F is better than the truth and we learn to live with the "truth". On here I have been honest about your B.F and hope you can understand that I have always told the truth about him on here.l

However, I recently made a decision to be open about you adoption and I have been very lucky in that all the people in my life who I care about have accepted my situation. (Even if I don't know if you know).

However, it is only since I decided to be 100% open about my adoption situation I have realised that there are other people are in my situation. I have had people come up to me and say that they are a B.M. or adoptees and never been able to talk to anyone about their situation before. Unfortunately, adoption is still a dirty word for some people. This might be the case for some B.M. - they might not ever had the opportunity to talk about their child to anyone before contact is made and rejection might be a big possibility in those cases.

I just wish it was a way we could take back the word.... in the same way as Chris Rock used the N word at the Rose-bowl Stadium back in the days.

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