So now you know.

You now know about me and this blog...I hope that you take the time to read it one day.  What is written on here is how I felt at the moment the post was written, sometimes when I wrote something I was an emotional wreck, other times extremely happy and sometimes I even wrote stuff after a glass or two of too much wine.

The blog was started because I wanted you to see the journey I am on when it comes to you...also, if it helps anyone in our situation that they knew they were not alone, others have similar experiences to me.

I cannot apologise enough to springing this on you, but you have the right to know about you history and to have access to any medical history you might need in the future.

The initial message to you was sent from my "other" FB profile, not because I wanted to hide anything from you...that profile was set up using the name on your birth certificate in case you were searching.  You might not have know about my married name unless someone told you, so when I sent you the message, I used that profile, in case you already had that name.  Unless you want me to keep that profile, I will use my normal profile in the future, if you allow me to have contact with you.

You are definitely not a secret in my life, those close to me knows what I know about you...those who are not that close know I have a (soon to be ) 26 year old son who lives in Greece.

Hopefully, you will be able to forgive me for bringing you on this emotional roller-coaster without forewarning...you will be angry with me at times, other times (I hope) we might be able to have good relationship, sometimes you might want nothing to do with me and others you might want me there with you...I will not go anywhere, I will stay away when you need me to and be there for you when you allow me to be.

Απλά ξέρω, εγώ θα αγαπάω πάντοτε

Not sure if I screwed it up :'(

Ok, I have have two FB profiles and I sent this one from my "other" profile...my gut tells me that I screw the up...but at least this way I know where I stand.

Dearest Son

I’m so sorry to contact you this way, but after so many of years of knowing who you are and trying to abide by Greek law (that allows you to find me but not me to find you), I have decided to break Greek Law.

As you might know you was adopted at birth by you parents, your aps, they are your dad and mum…no matter what will happen next to us, that is the only truth you need to know.  Sorry if I told you something you didn’t know this already.  This would be so much easier if this was the other way around…I could just have sent you a message saying does the that date mean something to you?  If you had, I would have responded with a resounding YES…that date means the world to me, because it is the day you came into the world.

It is very hard to write this message…. how you feel about everything might change after reading this, the only thing I ask of you is that you take a moment to read it, absorb this and then think about what you want to do next…I do not want you to make rash decisions; so, I just would like you to think about this…then when you are ready take it from there.

So here it goes, for years I have wanted to contact you…but have not had the courage to do so…I have always been afraid that your parents have not told you about me and that this will be the first time you hear about me.  I have not wanted to be the person to tell you…but now you are nearly 26 years old, you have the right to know the truth and I am sorry if I am the one who is doing it, I am the one you share a unique bond with (we shared a heartbeat for nine months).

The only thing I would ask of you is that we can sit down one time and have a chat (I will be in Athens soon) …so I can answer any questions you might have…. after that…it is up to you…I would love to get to know you and hopefully build a friendship with you…but if you do not want this…I will fully understand.  You can tell me to get lost, I lost that choice back even before you were born.  It does not mean I do not want to have a relationship with you…it is just I am (unfairly) giving you the choice of deciding if you want to get to know me.

If I can, I would suggest that we become friends on FB as it where I sent you this message, then when you are ready you message me with your questions and I promise that I will answer 100% honestly…no matter how painful it will be for me…I will not instigate contact…we will take this at your pace…it that is what you want… I would like to have is a minimal access to your life…you do not have to speak to me ever…. but allow me to know what the major things that happens in your life….my life is an open book to you…I will always be here for you…if you need me.

The final thing is that if you want me to stay out of your life, I will it is your choice, just let me know

With all my love,

Your first mother